


Hello, Green-Eyed Friend

by twilightdazzle



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Everybody Lives, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-12
Updated: 2017-04-12
Packaged: 2018-10-18 03:19:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10608207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twilightdazzle/pseuds/twilightdazzle
Summary: “Did you know Captain Andor was married once?” The announcement made from down the table in a very loud whisper had all of their gazes turning toward Jyn. She kept her head bent down toward her tray, fingers clenched until they were almost white knuckled around her fork. What. The. Hell.Or, four times current and old lovers stirred up some jealousy issues between Jyn and Cassian.And one time they didn’t.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Whoooo, another monster one-shot. I seriously don't know what happens when I write these. They just get away from me sometimes.
> 
> But anyway. Jyn. Cassian. A little jealousy fueled fun. Sounded like a party to me!

1.

When Jyn stumbled into the mess after a really long – fucking awful – day, she really only wanted three things: to get some food into her stomach, to get some alcohol into her bloodstream, and to get the hell out of there before anyone could really question her noticeably surly attitude. 

Unfortunately, only one of those things happened. 

Because the first thing her eyes had managed to see through the crowd was Cassian huddled into a far corner with one of his fellow intelligence officers – Jade, her brain snarls to her – laughing and smiling and standing so close that their chests were practically touching. She tried to play it cool and walk over to the rest of the Rogue One crew in a blasé, casual manner, but they all eyed her suspiciously when she sat down and greeted them with a stiff and awkward smile.

“Why are you being creepy?” Bodhi questioned cautiously, eyes narrowing over a glass of Coruscanti wine and noting her too sharp smile and almost-glazed eyes.

“I’m not,” Jyn said defensively, pouring herself a glass immediately, suddenly not very hungry. She took a long swig and coughed. Oh. That was good.

Her eyes darted back to that corner. Cassian was in fine form tonight; face more open and carefree, his captain’s jacket gone so that his thermal shirt could cling to his defined arms just perfectly, the grin on his face mischievous and daring. He was leaning down over his companion, and she was leaning up into him, smiling widely. She was quite pretty, all blonde hair and blue eyes and bright smiles. If Jyn hadn’t known her better, she would hate her, but Lieutenant Zepi was a good soldier, a good person. But still, that didn’t stop that ugly burn from rising in her chest. 

“What’s wrong with your face?” Baze questioned suddenly, breaking her out of her trance. “It looks swollen.”

“Um, yeah,” Jyn responded lamely. Cassian tucked a strand of Lieutenant Zepi’s hair behind her ear, fingers trailing down her cheek, and she blushed but leaned in closer. Jyn found herself struggling for words. “One of my trainees got in a good shot.” Her cheek was still throbbing now that she thought about it.

“Ah,” Chirrut said with a smile. “He saw an opportunity and he took it.” The smile on his face was blithe and light, but his sightless eyes were pointed in her direction.

Baze rolled his eyes, and Bodhi glanced confusedly between the two. Jyn swallowed and tried not to grit her teeth at the Guardian or maybe at herself. It had been over a year since Scarif, over a year of being his most trusted ally during missions and slipping into his bunk during especially hard nights and letting her gaze linger much longer than it should. She could, after all this time, finally admit that she was in love with Cassian Andor, but admitting it to him seemed like an impossibility. What they had now was irreplaceable, impenetrable…but maybe just fragile enough to not withstand a confession like that. Maybe she was just fragile enough to break under a rejection like that. 

“I am not sure that it would qualify as a fair shot, in my opinion,” K2’s robotic voice suddenly chimed in as he approached the table. “She was distracted.”

“Thank you, Kay,” Jyn said, only a little sarcastic as she downed the rest of her glass and glared at Chirrut.

“But I also suppose that would not matter out in the field,” K2 continued. “If you cannot even remain attentive in a controlled environment, then your odds in the field decrease dramatically.” 

Jyn glowered but didn’t respond, downing her alcohol as fast as possible. Cassian was now even closer to Lieutenant Zepi as she pressed her entire body flush against his to whisper something in his ear, hands resting gingerly on his shoulders. He smiled, something suave and suggestive, hands clenched around his companion’s waist. After she pulled her lips away from his ear and rocked back on her heels, he nodded and smiled, and they slowly made their way out of the mess together. Before they slipped through the doors, Cassian’s dark eyes darted toward Jyn’s. They were too dark to decipher – endless and beautiful and terrifying – and Jyn didn’t even want to try, her gaze immediately darting away and back toward her companions.

Her heart was violently thundering against her ribcage, fingers clenching over her knees underneath the table. What she would give to have him look at her like that…she grabbed the wine bottle and poured another glass, ignoring Bodhi’s incredulous look.  
It hurt. It hurt. It hurt.

*****

“Jyn.”

She groaned and tried to shrug the hand off her shoulder. It hurt to wake up. Her head was pounding, her mouth was dry as the Tatooine desert, and her stomach pitched violently when she opened her eyes to the bright lights in her bunk. Fuck, hangovers were worse than getting trampled by a bantha. 

“Jyn.” The hand shook her shoulder again, and she reluctantly rolled over, staying cocooned in her mountain of blankets as she went. 

Cassian was crouched beside her bed, smiling sympathetically down at her. What a stupidly beautiful human being with his dumb brown eyes and chiseled jawline and weirdly shiny brown locks. She hated him.

“Mmm,” she grunted at him in greeting, closing her eyes to block out the brightness. 

“Jyn, you need to get up, get some food in you. It’s past midday,” he said in amusement, trying to tug the blankets off her face.

Despite the fight she put up on her end, he managed to draw the blankets down to her waist, and she cringed at the sharp bite of the frigid air. Hoth was a nightmare. Of course, falling asleep in a thin tank and the Rebellion’s standard issue briefs didn’t do much for her either. 

“What happened to your face!” Cassian’s fingers gingerly stroked her cheek – which she had noticed before she had gracelessly passed out last night was decorated in dark blues and purples. His fingers were soft and tender, warring with the dangerous glint of anger she saw rising in his eyes.

“Trainee,” she said hoarsely, burrowing deeper into her pillow while simultaneously arching up into his touch. 

“Oh, which one?” Cassian asked far too innocently for it to be a completely innocent question as his hand flattened to cradle her cheek.

Jyn’s eyes narrowed. “I don’t know. I forgot.” Cassian gave her a pointed look. “Cass, you can’t intimidate all of my trainees when I get hurt.”

He shrugged and failed to hide a grin. “I can find out without you anyway. The guilty one always squirms when I walk into the training room.”

Jyn huffed and sat up finally, swaying as the room spun a little too violently for a second. Cassian’s hand on her shoulder steadied her. “He’s not guilty. It was a fair shot. I was distracted.” She didn’t tell him that she was distracted because she had seen him walking alongside Lieutenant Zepi a little too closely through the training room window.

Cassian sighed and stood, though the dangerous glint in his eye hadn’t disappeared, and held out his hand for her. “Lunch?”

“Shouldn’t you be with Lieutenant Zepi?” she asked, tone only a little bitter and little sharp. So she was feeling a little petty, sue her. 

“That was a one-time thing,” Cassian said calmly, casually. Oh, good. Good. 

He tossed her a pair of pants and a heavy jacket and diverted his gaze while she slipped them on. They trudged through the halls to the mess together, her side pressed tightly against his, and she tried to ignore the fact that she could see angry red scratch marks peeking out above the back of his shirt.

 

2\. 

At first, they were just rumors that Cassian heard floating around the base. He never paid attention to rumors around here. Too often did people get bored in the endless blizzards of Hoth, finding gossip where there was none to be found in the first place. 

Jyn couldn’t possibly have a boyfriend. That was just stupid. Jyn didn’t do boyfriends. 

He’d just returned from a two week long undercover operation when he saw it for the first time. Jyn was leaning against a ship in the hangar, a tall, red haired man dressed in a pilot’s uniform standing before her. There was something incredibly pompous in his stature, something overly-confident in the way he grinned boyishly at her and pressed his hand against the metal beside her head. Jyn seemed lighter in his presence, talking rapidly and listening aptly and giggling.

_What the fuck._ Jyn didn’t giggle. Just…no.

“That is Kalen Reese, a pilot of the Gold Squadron,” K2 piped in from his side, and Cassian only jumped a little at the sudden intrusion. “He’s twenty-five standard, and he’s been with the Rebellion for approximately six years.”

“I don’t care who he is,” Cassian practically growled, fists clenching unconsciously at his sides.

“Your tone and posture would indicate otherwise to me, Captain,” K2 responded, blinking blandly down at the rebel.

Cassian ignored him, marching out of the hangar with a weird sort of fury lingering beneath his skin.

When Jyn sat down for dinner with the rest of the Rogue One team, no one asked her about him and she didn’t mention anything about him, so maybe it was something he had imagined. Maybe the rumors were just rumors like they always were. It didn’t ease his agitation though; he wasn’t able to partake in the infectious cheer of the second anniversary of the Death Star’s destruction. Jyn had seemed distracted, her eyes darting off into the crowd too often, and he found his suspicion growing again. He retired early, despite the objections from Bodhi and Kes, and trudged down the quiet halls with the intent to pass out as soon as he’d reached his room.

Just as he was about to turn a corner, he heard hushed voices and muffled laughs. Silently, as to not intrude, he peeked around the wall, and felt himself rear back at what he saw.

Kalen had Jyn pressed up against a wall, his lips attached religiously to her neck, his body tight against hers, her fingers carding through his choppy hair. Cassian’s blood ran cold, his breath halting abruptly in his lungs. They disappeared through a door behind Jyn that had finally hissed open, and Cassian wasn’t sure if he was relieved or pained by the silence they left behind. For several long minutes, he stood at the end of the hall, eyeing the door they disappeared behind and wondering what he would interrupt if he were to rap his knuckles against it right now.

He wondered what Jyn’s face would look like when Kalen’s fingers caressed her breasts and his head would dip between her thighs, wondered if she would sigh or if she would scream…

Cursing in Festian, Cassian continued down the hall, passing Kalen’s bunk with a steel spine and clenched fists and hoping that sleep would find him swiftly. It was excruciating to watch the woman you love be with another.

*****

Wired and tensed, Cassian stalked down the too-quiet halls of the base with footsteps that seemed to echo all around him. His muscles were sore and his bones weary, but there was something restless that stirred beneath his skin, something irate and dark.

It was late, too late for any other sane person to be awake right now, so he could roam about freely and without interruption. A door suddenly slid open a few feet ahead of him, and out tumbled Jyn, looking exhausted and unkempt. This wasn’t her bunk. The dark aura settled more heavily over him.

“Cassian,” she said in surprise when she caught sight of him. “What are you doing up?”

“I couldn’t sleep,” he responded blandly, trying very hard not to spare a glance in her direction. He didn’t want to see if there were marks against her throat or if her lips were swollen from kisses. “I’ll…um…I’ll walk you back to your room.”

He started walking briskly, not glancing back to see if she was following. His heart was still pounding. It felt like it hadn’t stopped since he’d met her. 

“Cassian, wait,” she ordered, latching onto his wrist and pulling him back toward her. Now forced to look at her, he noted that she didn’t look overly disheveled and didn’t have any distinguishing marks against her skin. She looked tired and small and confused. “You’ve been avoiding me for the past two weeks. Have I done something wrong? I’m just…I don’t know what I did.”

Something in her green eyes shone with hurt, her dark hair falling forward into her face as if to shield her. An overwhelming guilt settled over him. It was true. He had done his best to avoid her since he had seen her with Kalen a couple weeks ago. Even if he wasn’t ready to tell her how he felt, he also wasn’t ready to watch her be with someone else. He had been certain that she wouldn’t notice his absence; apparently, he had been wrong. 

“No, Jyn,” he said in exasperation, his hands moving to grip her shoulders, an apology in his eyes. “It wasn’t you. “I…I’ve just…things are hard right now.”

She gave him an out by pressing a palm to his cheek, drawing out his sadness with a simple touch, and he practically sagged against her. And, just like that, she broke his resolve, coerced him back into her orbit like he hadn’t been gone in the first place. “I heard about Mos Eisley. I’m sorry.”

Cassian’s eyes shut in a brief flare of agony. The men he’d lost on Mos Eisley yesterday had been good people. They deserved better. Jyn seemed to recognize that he didn’t want to talk about them because she tugged him forward, taking up his offer to walk her to her bunk. It was silent for a several minutes, their arms brushing as they walked, but everything felt…better, normal even. Being away from Jyn was fucking hard, especially when it was his own choice to do so. 

“I ended things with Kalen,” Jyn announced, splitting their silence apart. Cassian’s stride faltered slightly. “That’s what I was doing in his room just now.”

Shocked, the captain didn’t respond for a long minute, struggling to even out his breathing and suppress the relived smile threatening to break on his face. “Oh,” he said finally. Really? Oh? He was a fucking genius, truly. Another minute of silence. “You could do better anyway.”

Jyn grinned widely, amused. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah,” Cassian said, clearing his throat and trying to sound neutral. “He reminds me too much of Solo. Arrogant, overly-confident, loud.”

Jyn laughed, tossing her head back slightly, the sound echoing through the halls. Cassian’s stomach flipped. 

“Careful there, Cassian,” she warned playfully, nudging him with her elbow. “Some people might argue that Solo is quite the lady-killer.”

“Yeah maybe Leia would,” Cassian snorted. “But I guess he’s got the whole tall, dark, and handsome thing going for him.”

“I’d say he’s more of the rebellious, bad boy kind than the tall, dark, and handsome,” Jyn observed, a hand on her chin pensively. “Don’t worry, captain, I’d say you have that category reserved for yourself.”

The grin she shot him was playful and genuine and beautiful. Something fluttered in his chest. He wanted to kiss her – do more than kiss her really – but he couldn’t, not yet. There was something holding him back, maybe the pilot and the fact that whatever he had with Jyn had literally only ended minutes ago, but mostly it was him and her because what they shared so far was perfect, and he would hate to be the reason that perfect thing shattered.

They reached her bunk too quickly, and she paused before turning to face him.

“Spar with me?”

He laughed. “Jyn, it’s the middle of the night, and the heat in the training room is off. You’d freeze.”

She grabbed the open flaps of his jacket and tugged him along with her down the hall, walking backward so that she could face him with a soft, smiling expression. “But you’d freeze with me, yeah?”

He swallowed and moved forward with her, hypnotically drawn by the green of her eyes. “Of course.”

 

3.

“Did you know Captain Andor was married once?” Bodhi’s fork froze midway to his mouth, Baze’s eyes widened noticeably, and Chirrut’s mouth dropped open into a small, surprised ‘o.’ The announcement made from down the table in a very loud whisper had all three of their gazes turning toward Jyn. She kept her head bent down toward her tray, fingers clenched until they were almost white knuckled around her fork. What. The. Hell.

“What! Really?” came another not-much-of-a-whisper whisper. The two female recruits at the end of the table seemed not to notice that they had caught the attention of half the Rogue One crew.

“Yeah. Some years ago. I’m not too sure what happened, but I heard the captain was a wreck after. I even heard that he ran into her on his last assignment. I mean, can you imagine! After all these years, a sudden reunion like that? It definitely sounds like fate.”

The girls dissolved into unintelligible whispers, but the gazes of her teammates hadn’t shifted elsewhere. Jyn was frozen, her brain struggling to process exactly what she was hearing. After several long moments of rapid blinking on her part and uncomfortable staring on her teammates’ behalf, she stood abruptly, pushing her tray away and marching from the mess. 

People parted immediately for her when they saw her petite form tearing through the halls. Jyn hardly noticed them, her heart feeling like it had fallen straight from her chest and into her stomach. It didn’t make sense to her. She had no claim to Cassian, of course, but she felt the familiar beginnings of jealousy bubbling in her blood. Obviously, Cassian wasn’t still married, but the fact that there had, at one point, been a woman so compelling and so magnificent to make the infamously stoic and contained captain run off and marry her – and that they had run into each other again only last week – was absolutely horrifying. Jyn felt boggled. She had been with Cassian on that assignment but hadn’t noticed any woman that stood out, hadn’t noticed anything really except that he’d been a little more quiet than usual on the flight back. Had it been his meeting with his ex-wife that had rattled him?

Jyn halted abruptly, took a deep breath, and unclenched her fists. This was fucking stupid. If there was something she wanted to know, then she would just ask Cassian himself.

He was in one of the tool rooms, a powered down K2 in front of him as he manually tried to repair some damage that had been done to the droid’s systems that the droid had been complaining excessively about. Jyn jumped up onto one of the high work tables, and Cassian looked up from his work for a moment to shoot her a smile.

“Hey.”

“Hey,” she responded nonchalantly, legs swinging in what she hoped was a carefree manner. 

Force, she was nervous. Her face felt hot, and her throat was dry. She moved her hands beneath her thighs to hide their trembling. Nobody said anything, the sounds of metal tapping against metal filling the silence. This was normal for them, to sit companionably with one another while they worked or read through mountains of data on their datapads. Sometimes, he would linger against one of the training room walls while she attempted to give the trainees pointers on hand-to-hand combat, catching her eye and smiling minutely at their nervous expressions. Often, she would take naps in his bed while he sat at the foot of it going over mission strategies and starcharts, burying her toes underneath his thighs for extra warmth and burrowing deep in his blankets. So of course, he didn’t know that there was something out of the ordinary this time around.

Okay. Be cool. Just ask him if it’s true. “So I heard you were married once.” Damnit. Why did her voice come out all high-pitched like that?

Cassian didn’t react the way she thought he would. Instead of tensing and shooting to attention, he just calmly set down his tools, wiped his greasy hands on a clean cloth, and stood to face her. “And who did you hear that from?”

He leaned back against a table opposite from her, arms crossed over his chest, his lips turned up slightly in amusement. She didn’t break gaze with him. “Just some gossips in the mess this morning.”

“Never took you as the type to partake in gossip, Sergeant,” he teased, and she shrugged, finally moving her eyes away from his in slight embarrassment. He sighed. “I was married once, yes. It…didn’t end well.”

Jyn struggled to swallow. Her chest burned something fierce. “Oh. How old were you?” It was the only question she could manage.

“I met her when I was eighteen,” he responded simply. He made no move to continue until he saw the question in Jyn’s eyes, the way her body leaned forward with her hands clutching the edge of the table like she was curious but still weary of asking. 

The captain turned away and began tinkering mindlessly with some of K2’s wiring. “I was stationed on Naboo for a long-term intelligence op, one of my first. Her name was Lena.” Something about the sad, wistful upturn of his lips made her regret coming here. Maybe she didn’t want to know. “Her father was a friend of the Rebellion, so I met her through him. I was young – we both were – a little naïve and a little too eager. Naboo was too beautiful, too romantic. The atmosphere was infectious. I had only known her for about five months before we got married. It was perfect for a while. She was…the first woman I’d ever been in love with.” He took a long, deep breath. Jyn wanted to run from this conversation, but she was stuck. “I always knew the rebellion would call me back one day. But she didn’t want to go, and I didn’t want to stay. She always said that there was peace on Naboo, no reason for her to fight and no reason for me to fight. We argued a lot. That’s really all it was the last couple of months. Some Imperialists got news that her father was a Rebellion ally, and he was killed, and then it was just…over. She knew she would never fight, and I knew I would never stop.”

There was a long pause, and Jyn knew his story was over. Her eyes pricked slightly, and there was a suspicious lump in her throat. “Cassian, I’m sorry.”

He abruptly turned to face her, a small smile playing at his lips. “I’m not,” he said firmly, moving closer to her so that he was practically standing between her knees, towering over her. “I couldn’t be with her and the Rebellion at the same time. I belong here. With you. With the others. Things would have been different if I had stayed…and I’m happy to have gotten to this point. I’m happy with how things are right now…She just didn’t have that rebel spirit.”

The grin he shot her – charming and boyish and dangerously enticing – sent a different type of fire surging through her, something that settled low in stomach and made her clench her thighs together unconsciously. “Still,” she almost stammered, trying to regain footing. “You left out the part where you ran into her on our last mission.”

Cassian’s face twisted into an expression of awe and disbelief. “Where the fuck do these girls found out all this information!” He mumbled to himself in Festian briefly. Something about chismosas and fisgones. “She was in the cantina where I met our contact.” Ah, that explains why Jyn hadn’t noticed anyone. She had been trying – and mostly failed – to mingle with the crowd outside. “She came up to say hello. It was extremely awkward, actually. And it was quick, hardly even a minute, before I heard you shout from outside.”

Jyn remembered the sharp blow a stormtrooper had landed against her ribs when she failed to provide her scadocs, remembered how Cassian had swooped in swiftly after her cry, worried but lethal. “But we left immediately after that?” Jyn said in confusion. “You saw your ex-wife and you didn’t even talk to her?”

The dark-haired man chuckled and gripped her leg just slightly above the knee, squeezing it affectionately. Her thighs clenched again. “Jyn, I was a little more worried about the fact that you were undoubtedly stirring up trouble and getting hurt while doing it.”

Why was this man so attractive? Thrumming with relief at the fact that this ex-wife was truly a thing of the past, all she wanted to do was surge upward into him, feel the scratch of his beard against her face, feel the strength of his hips as her legs wrapped around him.

_I’m happy with how things are right now._

So instead, she gives him a look of mock outrage. “Undoubtedly causing trouble? What bantha shit.” Then, with a roguish grin, she dipped her fingers into a can of blackish grease sitting to her left and smeared it down the side of his face. “How’s that for trouble?”

Cassian gave her a look of shocked amusement, and she darted away from him, sprinting down the hall as he followed threateningly, calling her name with laughter in his voice. 

This was enough. For now, this could be enough.

 

4.

When Cassian first set eyes on their contact, he really didn’t think much of him other than he looked like a complete asshole. He had this aggressively cocky air about him, a smirk that was just infuriating, and eyes that were dark, too dark. It didn’t really mean much to Cassian. He and Jyn were in one of those seedy cantinas that had all types of sketchy characters, all types of danger lurking in every corner, so this one man didn’t stand out too much. The cantina was dark and smoky and smelled too heavily of dirt and blood, and he just wanted to get this information and get out as quickly as possible.

It wasn’t until those dark eyes turned upon Jyn, a feral glint in the man’s eye, that Cassian began to feel weird about the whole situation. His partner stiffened next to him, and he reflexively reached out to let the tips of his fingers graze her elbow.

The young man stood and gave the petite woman a once over that had Cassian grinding his teeth together. Who was this piece of shit? “Tanith. It’s been a long time, sweetheart.”

Tanith? Well, shit, they already knew each other. And fairly well apparently. Cassian’s gut clenched.

“Xaine,” Jyn greeted him crisply, lips pursed.

Xaine pushed his dark curls out of his face and gestured for them to sit, not even bothering to look Cassian’s way. When he smiled, the scar that sliced from his forehead to his jawline made him look all the more sinister. They did as suggested, not wanting to draw any unwanted attention in their direction. Jyn sat as far back in her chair as possible, rigid and pale. Cassian was on edge immediately after noticing her apprehension.

“We weren’t supposed to be meeting a Xaine. We’re supposed to be speaking with Rafi Melfa,” Cassian stated brusquely, leaning forward against the table and pinning their contact with a threatening glare, moving his jacket in just a way that the blaster beneath it could be seen. 

Xaine scoffed, unfazed, leaning back and crossing his arms over his chest. His eyes were nothing but hostile when they moved to Cassian. “The boss doesn’t speak to anyone without them being cleared first, pretty boy.” He looked to Jyn again, leaning forward with a leer. “Tanith, you’re just as enticing as ever, more grown up though.” He punctuated those words with another once over that was entirely too invasive.

Cassian felt his blood heating up beneath his skin, his glower darkening. Why wasn’t Jyn saying anything? Why wasn’t she attacking this guy like she would any other? 

“We were told Melfa had information for us. If not, we’ll be on our way. Don’t waste our time.” Cassian could feel Jyn’s eyes on him, knew that he was radiating animosity and practically vibrating with barely contained irritation. Beneath the table, she laid a hand on his knee in attempt to calm him. It didn’t help.

Xaine rolled his eyes. “You’ll meet him here tomorrow evening. Right after dusk. He wanted to make sure you were who you said you were.” He sent Cassian a distasteful look down his perfectly straight nose. “Everything about you oozes rebellion.”

“Great,” Jyn piped in stiffly, standing almost too eagerly, pulling her blue scarf back over her head. The captain could tell by the way she kept her arms too tight by her sides that she was uncomfortable. “Tomorrow at dusk then.”

“Hold on there, love,” Xaine said, attempting to reach out for her wrist, but she immediately snapped it back, cold expression heating with a glare. Cassian put his hand on his blaster. “If you’re really desperate to see the boss tonight…then I think I could be persuaded.” The nasty, suggestive expression on his face told the captain exactly what he had in mind. The filth continued despite both his and Jyn’s darkening demeanors. “It would be like old times, nothing I haven’t seen before. I can remember your body so well even after all these years. The noises you made when I fucked you just right, the taste of your cun-”

A haze had settled over Cassian’s brain, and he was certain the world melted away in his rage – seriously, all he could feel was the blood thundering in his ears – because he was suddenly leaping out of his chair, slamming his hands down on the rickety table with enough force that it groaned beneath him. Xaine was grinning like it was the funniest thing he’d seen in his life, and Cassian wanted nothing more than to pummel that stupid fucking grin right off his face, but Jyn’s hands on his chest and her body pressed against his halted him.

“No, Cass, leave it. It’s not worth it. We still have a job to do tomorrow.”

Jyn practically dragged him out of the cantina and into the dark streets of the city, fingers digging into his wrist sharply. Though he was still trembling with poorly contained anger, he followed silently. Neither of them spoke as they walked through the night, dim street lamps casting dark shadows over their faces. There was a safe house they could stay for the night, but they had to take a winding route there to ensure that no one would follow. It was a painfully long walk, just long enough for Cassian to gradually settle back into his collected demeanor, though his mind was still buzzing with questions.

They reached the safe house without trouble, the silence between them thick, suffocating. She slipped into the ‘fresher first and came out ten minutes later with damp hair, dark shorts, and a white shirt that he knew for a fact she had stolen from his bag on their last op. There was only one bed, but they’d never minded sharing. It was comforting to have her close, to feel her body right up against his. When he exited the ‘fresher, she was already settled into one side facing the wall, hands pressed underneath her head. 

He slid in behind her, choosing to face her back, staring at the way her wavy damp locks clung to the back of her neck. So many questions. So many questions.

“Tell me about him.” His voice echoed in the silence after a long, long period of nothing.

She rolled over to face him, green eyes shining like gems in the darkness. For a moment, she simply stared, biting her lip as if she was unsure whether to say anything at all. She looked so young gazing at him like this, hair free from its bun and standing out starkly against the paleness of her skin, face clean and unmarred by blood or grime, eyes so open.

“I met him when I was about seventeen,” she finally began, staring directly into his face as she fiddled with the crystal around her neck. “I found a group of smugglers to run with, and he just happened to be part of it. It was only a few months after Saw left me,” a shaky breath, “and I was honestly a mess.” She wiggled a little closer to him, slipped one of her calves between his, toes searching for the warmth there. His arm fell over her waist, anchoring her to him. “I don’t know what it was about him, but I was just drawn to him. He was only a couple of years older than me, handsome enough. I think I started doing it to feel something other than fucking angry and miserable all the time, but he was…he was all wrong.”

Cassian slipped a hand beneath the back of her shirt, his thumb stroking the skin at the base of her spine. Her body relaxed into the mattress just a little more. She told him that Xaine’s touch had always drawn out more bruises than pleasure, how he’d been so cold that she would often shiver in her cot afterward, regretful but not quite enough to stop. She said there was something dark about him, something fucked up but familiar and that was why she kept going back. She mentioned that she had thought – during that period of time and maybe a little bit after – that sex was an emotion, a replacement for everything else she couldn’t feel.

Cassian listened intently, furious and sad and frustrated all at once. She had obviously been too young, too vulnerable from Saw’s abandonment. Looking at her now, it was hard to imagine someone so strong and extraordinary ever being so broken. His respect for her grew exponentially, chest swelling in awe of her strength and tenacity.

“And then one day, I just had it. I was so tired of his seeing his face and hearing his voice and feeling him touch me, so on our next run, I left him stranded in Imperial territory with a stash of stolen weapons and watched the ‘troopers beat him to the ground and drag him off.” The smirk that split her lips was wicked and beautiful and so perfectly Jyn that he couldn’t help but throw his head back and laugh, something deep and genuine from far in his stomach. “I’m not sure how he got out of that one, but it’s still hilarious to think of the terrified look on his face when they cornered him. I left the group immediately after that. It was easy. Better.”

The laughed heartily for several more minutes after, and he was relieved that her somberness had lifted. They were pressed chest to chest now, legs completely tangled together, remnants of laughter lingering between them in shared breaths. It struck the captain that this was undoubtedly the most intimate thing he’d ever done with another person. Cassian was certain that he and Jyn felt the same about intimacy. Intimacy wasn’t skin against skin or heavy pants mixing in the silence of night. Intimacy was a protective hand wrapped around your elbow, fingers brushing the hair from your forehead, laying clothed but speaking nakedly with the person you would’ve danced in flames with. Intimacy was being ready to die with someone and being able to live for them instead.

They tapered off into silence, and Cassian’s eyes were just beginning to droop when he decided to speak up one last time. “You deserved better, Jyn.”

She hummed and practically buried her nose into the hollow of his throat, lips just brushing the skin there. “I already have better,” she responded sleepily, and his heart beat a rough tattoo into his chest.

Unsurprisingly, their assignment went to shit the next day when Xaine recognized their faces from several Imperial wanted posters and decided to sell them out instead. Cassian didn’t care. No information could possibly be as life-changing as repeatedly smashing the bastard’s face into the bar. When Jyn took down her last ‘trooper and lifted an amused eyebrow at him, Cassian only shrugged, kicking the shitbag one last time for good measure.

Yeah, that felt good.

 

+1  
“Lena was perfect, you know?” Cassian said suddenly above the rumble of the ship. 

Jyn’s hands started to tremble as she attempted to strap on her green combat vest. Hearing about Lena hurt, even after the conversation they’d had nearly a year ago, and hearing Cassian say something like that was like a blaster to the stomach.

The pair were isolated in their own corner of the ship, the other soldiers buzzing with excitement and radiating determination several feet from them. They were on the ship to Endor, two strike teams lead by General Solo and the other by Major Andor – unfortunately Jyn had been placed under Solo’s authority today – that would decide the fate of the galaxy. If they did it all right…if they fought just hard enough…this war would finally end and the Empire would crumble. The hopeful hum, the electric burn Jyn had felt in her veins just moments ago stuttered to an abrupt halt at Cassian’s words.

Cassian continued, seemingly oblivious to the way Jyn’s eyes had fluttered shut in agony. “Yeah, she was exactly what my parents would have wanted for me, exactly what I had wanted for myself for so long.” Jyn continued to struggle with her vest, straps and belts slipping helplessly through her unsteady fingers. 

‘Please stop. Please,’ she silently begged, her throat beginning to close painfully.

“Thinking about it now, I just can’t convince myself that I was in love with her though.” Cassian’s hand reached for the metal bar above her head, leaning over her and pressing close. She paused and stared up at him, wide-eyed, breathless. The green poncho she wore over her shoulders felt heavy. He smiled gently. “Because I didn’t feel for her even half of what I feel for you now.”

The last part was said in such a low tone it was almost a whisper. Jyn was glad because the sentence ricocheted through her chest like a bomb. She was probably going to pass out. She stared blankly at his chest for a moment, at his tan shirt and the dark jacket he wore over it, and then moved back up to his face, taking in the crow’s feet in the corners of his jovial eyes and the stubble that had thickened considerably in the last day and the warmth of his smile.

“Why are you telling me this now?” Jyn questioned with tears in her eyes despite the fact that she had fought so hard to push them back.

Cassian cupped her cheek with one hand, thumbing the arch of her cheekbone. “Why not now, Jyn?” he whispered again. “Why have we waited so long?” He swallowed noticeably, like he was nervous. “I’ve been in love with you for years. And I think you feel the same for me. No, I know you do.” Bodhi’s voice sounded over the comm, announcing that they would be landing in one minute. Jyn ignored it. “I’m ready to do this with you. I want to be with you, more than anything.”

Jyn glanced around the ship as the soldiers began shuffle even more in anticipation, the ship only thirty seconds from landing. Her hands shot out to bunch in Cassian’s jacket and pull him down closer to her, their foreheads touching. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

“This isn’t a goodbye,” she ordered, feeling a smile begin to spread across her face.

“Of course not,” Cassian agreed and then closed his mouth over hers.

She always imagined their first kiss would be hard, desperate, rough. No, it was none of those things. He kissed her soft and deep, one hand still clenched around the bar above her head and the other locked tight around her waist. The moment their lips touched, she was breathless, unable to do little more than fist his jacket tighter. His beard scratched her cheeks exactly the way she always thought it would, and he tasted like exotic spices. She cared little for the other soldiers that she could hear snickering around her, her world narrowed down and focused to one man and his heartbeat against her chest.

“Erso!” Solo shouted when they finally parted. Jyn glanced toward the general, who looked exasperated and amused all at once near the boarding plank of the ship. “You can canoodle with your boyfriend later. We have some Imperial ass to beat right now.”

She smiled breathlessly at Cassian and pressed her forehead back to his, and they breathed softly together. “I’ll find you when this is over. Stay alive, Andor.”

“Likewise, Lieutenant.”

*****

When the Death Star had appeared on the horizon, Jyn froze, her entire body shutting down. Crouched at the base of a large tree, clutching a blaster to her chest, she remembered too vividly white sand beaches, the smell of burning flesh, the heartbreak of acceptance, Cassian’s hands pressing her close. Except this time, Cassian was nowhere to be found; she was alone. She panicked for several long minutes, struggling to draw in breath, before Solo came charging through the foliage, grabbing her by the bicep and hauling her to her feet.

Several hours later, the Death Star was exploding in the sky, a beautiful display of sparkling ash and fire and the birth of something extraordinary. 

“Go on, Kid,” Solo grunted as he leaned against a tree, breathing heavy and rubbing at his side. “Go find your boyfriend. You’re starting to freak me out with all this giddy anxiety.”

Jyn didn’t need to be told twice, turning and sprinting through the bushes. It took her a lot longer to get back to camp than she expected, probably because she had to run from all the way across the fucking forest to get there. She whipped off her stupid poncho half way through, feeling incredibly weighed down by the thick fabric, and tossed her weapons belt on the way. Night had fallen when she burst into the camp. People were cheering and celebrating loudly, working on setting up a bonfire as they passed around the alcohol that someone had somehow remembered to bring. 

“Does anybody know where Major Andor is?” she shouted above the lively hum of the crowd.

“Medical tent 10,” someone shouted back. “I think he’s been shot.”

The blood pounded too violently in her ears. The adrenaline rushing through her veins pushed her forward, forward, forward. He had to be okay; she needed him to be.

Bursting into medical tent 10 without warning sent the poor medic jumping a foot in the air in shock, the bandage roll flying from his hands. Cassian sat on the edge of the cot with a bemused glint in his eye, sleeve pushed up around his shoulder for better access to the wound on his bicep. He looked exhausted, dark hair pushed into disarray, shoulders hunched, tan shirt singed slightly with blaster fire and decorated with dirt. But his eyes were burning, alive with an emotion that electrified her down to her bones.

Without hesitating, she stalked toward him, settled into his lap carefully, and kissed him breathless. It was all teeth and tongue and years of pent up need. Her fingers borrowed deep into his hair, and his hand moved to the back of her neck, pressing her closer.

“Oh,” the medic fumbled awkwardly in a far-off voice that Jyn could barely hear. “I’ll leave you two alone then. And I will, um, make sure no one interrupts you.” And then he scampered off.

Neither of them made any move to acknowledge his words, just continued to push against each other hungrily. Jyn’s knees pressed down harder into the cot, her hips falling against his in a way that made him groan and press a hard hand high up on her thigh. It felt like his touch was burning a hole straight through her gray pants, and she wanted him closer, closer, closer. She knew that they were both tired and sore and covered in sweat and dirt and maybe even a little blood, but _they were perfect_. This was perfect.

Cassian moved his lips away from hers after an almost infinite amount of minutes, instead latching them onto a spot just beneath her ear. The way he nipped with his teeth and smoothed over the hurt with his tongue made her gasp and squirm, arms pressing him closer and hips moving hard against his. The way he bucked up into her, the way she could feel the hardness of his cock against her aching cunt even through both of their pants…was deliriously delicious.

“Cass, wait,” she gasped as he dragged his teeth over her earlobe. “Your arm.”

He groaned into her throat. “Don’t care, Jyn. I just want you.”

She pulled back reluctantly, mouth swollen from his kisses, and moved both her hands to frame his jawline. “I care, you idiot. We have time, Cassian.” Her mouth ghosted kisses across his face, ears suddenly picking up on the celebration happening outside the tent. He tenderly tucked loose strands of her hair back behind her ear. “Come on, we’re missing the party.”

Removing herself from his lap and standing before him, she held out her hand and waited. Cassian glared playfully but took it and stood with her, exiting the tent hand in hand. Immediately, they were caught up in the cheer. Bodhi lunged at them both for a hug, and they laughed and tried not to cry for several minutes. Leia and Han were pressed closely together, whispering and smiling. Luke was making it a point to greet and congratulate everyone individually, his smile bright and sad and hopeful. The Ewoks – which really, Jyn found more terrifying than cute for some reason – waddled around the crowd like old friends. It was all so strange and surreal but beautiful all the same.

Eventually they found themselves seated on a large log around the bonfire, plates of food and mugs of alcohol abandoned at their feet. Jyn leaned her head against Cassian’s shoulder, and his hand rested atop her knee. She watched silently as the glare of the fire danced in his eyes, played up the handsome angles of his face in its glow. Bodhi sat next to them, trying and failing to hide his grin at the way they wrapped around each other.

“You know,” Cassian began quietly, mouth pressed close to her ear. “This bacta patch will have me all fixed up in about two hours, and then I’m going to show you every way I’ve wanted to touch you since I met you.”

Jyn grinned at the small smile at his lips and the promising shine in his eye. “I’ll hold you to that, Major.”

“Seriously,” Bodhi interrupted in exasperation. “You can’t just say these things around me! And my tent is right next to yours. You’re not going to be loud, are you?” He looked mortified by the thought.

Jyn pressed her mouth to Cassian’s, his hand clenching around her hip. “Of course we are, Bodhi. We’re going to give this whole camp something to be jealous of.”


End file.
